When I was young, I often had feelings of loneliness. I was experiencing so much beauty, awe, and joy in being alive, I desperately wanted someone to share it with, and I struggled to enjoy it just for myself. As I lived longer I came to realize that no one can truly share my experience. A person can physically be in a space with me, but they are never going to experience exactly what I do. Another person can look at what I’m looking at, but won’t see it the same way, won’t feel it the same way. My experience is, and always will be, unique to me. 

Still the urge to share, to express, remained. I found myself using music, drawing and painting to pour myself into, and although I knew that no one else would experience it the same as I did, at least I had expressed myself, I finally had an outlet to express what was not shareable–the great paradox of creative expression. This freed me from the idea that my “art” needed to have specific meaning, or that there should be some “thing” for people to “get”. The urge to share through creating is both generous and self-centered at the same time. A bit of loneliness is inherent in the fact that we are all so unique. Although no two people will experience anything the same way, we all do have experiences, and that is a unifying factor. I find comfort in this quote from Lindy Lee:

“One of the most beautiful images of the universe is the net of Indra. The universe is likened to this infinite net and at the ties of each knot of the net is a jewel that is perfect and brilliant and utterly unique, but its beauty, brilliance, lustre, and singularity are utterly dependent on the fact that it is receiving the light of every other jewel in the universe. That’s us.”